We all know these scenes from various movies, a couple falls passionately over each other, undresses and after a few thrusts, gladly on uncomfortable floors, both come together. This scenario may happen in real life, but it is not the rule. Nevertheless, it is ingrained in our minds and the women who do not reach orgasm through purely penetrative sex may feel like they are in the minority because of these images. But they aren’t. Most women also need clitoral stimulation (more specifically, stimulation of the glans) to climax. According to the newest findings, only 18.4% of women reach orgasm through penetration only.
Various studies have shown that men orgasm up to 95% of the time they have sex, compared to only about 65% for women. The 30% difference is what we call the Orgasm Gap. In developed countries, this difference is greater than the gender wage gap. Bravo sexual revolution! For those who may think that this difference may have physiological causes, these studies also showed that women in same-sex partnerships report a much higher orgasm rate (90%). Most women are also capable of reaching orgasm within minutes via masturbation. The Orgasm Gap is thus constructed by external circumstances and not by the actual capabilities of the female body.
The main reason why cisgender women climax in less frequent cases is mostly due to insufficient stimulation of the clitoris. The culprits are the images in movies and pornography that make us believe that a woman climaxes without foreplay and purely through penetration. Right next to it in the dock sits our ignorance of the clitoris. Very few people know what this organ actually looks like. Biology classes are mainly limited to the representation of the female reproductive organs, i.e. uterus, ovaries and fallopian tubes.
What is commonly called the clitoris is only the tip that is showing, the anatomical counterpart of the male glans. But most of the clitoris is internal and consists of erectile tissues, which form from the 9th week in embryonic development from the analogous corporal bodies (genital humps or genital tuberosity if anyone is interested) as the penis. When excited, these erectile tubercles swell, as they do in the penis. Thus, the clitoris is not just the little lump on the outside of the labia. This little knob, the clitoral glans, contains over 10,000 nerve endings. That’s twice as many as in the entire penis. The clitoral glans is therefore extremely sensitive and wants to be treated accordingly. In contrast the vaginal canal is hardly equipped with any nerve endings.
When a woman is sexually aroused by stroking, words, music, mood, kisses…..then she has exactly the same erection as the owner of a penis. The erectile tissue of the clitoris nestles against the vaginal wall and thus the clitoris is also stimulated by penetration. Even if the clitoral glans remains untouched. The distinction between clitoral and vaginal orgasm is therefore invalid. In fact, the so-called G-spot is most likely a part of the inner clitoris.
So what can contribute to orgasmic equality? Many men focus on penetration, whereas many women find it easier to orgasm when they are satisfied orally or with the fingers. It may not be easy for some, but communication is essential for good sex. And of course, in order to communicate what feels good to you, you should know what feels good yourself. A clear call for masturbation and discovery of your own body, toys are more than welcome! With the variety on the market nowadays I’m sure everyone can find a suitable toy. You can experiment with them alone but also with a partner in tow.
Do you have a problem telling your hairdresser your wishes and ideas about your new haircut? I hope not. If you do, then you should definitely contact me! Sexual communication with a partner should be just as natural. Then it would no longer be necessary to fake orgasms and maybe one day the Orgasm Gap will turn the other way. Multiple orgasms are real and anatomically easier for women to accomplish.
The 60’s ushered in the sexual revolution on a purely physical level with the advent of the pill, women were freed from the fear of pregnancy. With #metoo, freedom from sexual harassment and abuse was in focus, long enough it took! It seems to me that the next step is equality on the level of sexual satisfaction.
A small addendum to the figures in the article. These are findings that come from studies in Western countries. Unfortunately, in many parts of the world, the sexual revolution of any kind is still a long way off.